Back on track

Ok, so as we all do, I fell off the horse.

My boyfriend and I got back together, and instead of being overwhelmingly happy, I was confused for a while. And I ate some junk to make myself feel better.

After a catch up session wtih my awesome trainer where I spilled all of my feelings and confusion, she made me feel a lot better. I also did a lot of thinking... and as long as my boyfriend stays supportive, I've realised this is what I want.

I weighed in yesterday and I'm down to 106.6 kg, and I also tried on my belt which I havent worn for 8 weeks and I can get it 7cm tighter now, so my waist is going down which is great!

It's not going to be easy and there's always people in my way making it harder, but my trainer reminds me that I have to just go after what I want.. I have to make myself my number one priority again.

When I'm exercising in the street and people toot their car horns or yell out at me, I just try and tell myself that they are just jealous because at least I'm trying... well that's what my trainer says to do hehe
sometimes it works... sometimes it doesnt
it's hard to stay strong when you feel embarrassed, but when I'm skinny they'll have nothing to say!

I've also been hitting the gym a lot, and FINALLY realising my dream of jogging.... I used to jog 30 metres and then die... But after the last 2 months of training, I jogged for 10 minutes on the treadmill the other day.
it might has well have been 10 hours, because i was so damn excited and proud!

Here comes the weekend...

Weigh in day!

So I weighed in this morning...

And I am now 107.4, which means I have lost 1.6 kilos this week, and 7 kilos from my starting weight.

I'm really happy... Always hope for more, but my main aim is to lose a minimum of a kilo a week

Training sessions are going really well too, and I've noticed my fitness has increased a lot.
We used to start boxing and then  I would get puffed out and stop, but now I just keep going until she tells me to stop :)

I'm trying to stay positive and just focus on the big (or rather thin) picture

For years and years I've tried, but I'm just fed up with "trying" and now I'm taking the steps to make it happen, and that includes talking to my parents about their negative influence- as I live at home.
I might have been planning a healthy meal for dinner, and then they would say they were having take away and offer me some, and I'm not strong enough to turn it down yet, so I've spoken to them and explained they need to stop including me in these things, and just support me.

Just finished training session

I met my trainer about 2 months ago now.

When we first started, i was 114.4 and as a 162cm female in my early 20's this is not good... at all!

We had a few false starts due to me going on holidays, but my weight at my last weigh in was 109 on Thurs 4/11/10. I weigh in again tomorrow.

Currently on a 3 week break from my boyfriend of almost 5 years, due to him being sick of supporting me then me eating whatever I wanted on our holiday and he is fed up. Have to say I don't blame him... you can only support someones addiction for so long before you get sick of dealing with it, and I don't hold any grudge against him. I'm 2 weeks in and missing him like hell, but I'm trying to use the time to focus on me and what I want.

My current goal is to get under 100 by New Years.

100 kilos has always been a barrier for me, and everytime I get close, I get scared and self sabotage. I am now trying to get excited about changes instead of scared, and think about all the great clothes I'll get to wear and how much easier exercising will be.

Day one of my blog

Here I am starting my blog, I've never had one before, but I figure a lot of people are on the same path as me right now- trying to lose weight. So it's worth writing about myself and seeing if other people are having the same issues, or have better ideas.